Flashback. Memories of the past haunt you. Understand them, overtake them. No regrets. Keo finally drove out the cul-de-sac.
Chapter 10 ▲ Letters to the Cul-De-Sac
I look to the past, to verify my present stance...
Don't even see what I'm writing, got my eyes in a trance.
Inside of vise mind, I give you guys a glance.
6th grade, GWCA, it was time for the dance…
And Shanny was saying the theme that year was Sadie’s.
Explaining it means boys get asked by ladies.
And I didn't know who, but I thought someone would come take me.
So I'm sitting at my desk waiting... waiting... and I’m still waiting...
Now I'm in 8th grade. Nights full of One Piece roleplays,
Days full of trading cards and beyblades.
I'm not yet that weird quiet geek in high school,
But I've always been the strange silent too much to think type dude.
And I'm bragging to Edwin I could beat him in a race, and every day I’d try to.
With my arms stretched all the way back, thinking if I run really, really fast
My home planet I could fly too...
Read a book called, “Teach yourself how to fly” But, I never learned to fly dude...
I’m still trying to...
Then, I'm on PsiPog thinking telekinesis is quite true. Thinking up lies to,
Fit in, I never did, but back then I would try to.
Look in the mirror, like hi you, who are you? A specter stares back, like, “Not Amidamaru!”
Meanwhile... at home on the cul-de-sac... It's 9 AM. I'm still up with my retarded ass.
Writing fanfiction, tv show based on the 3 ninjas. Wondering, like damn, how come no ones ever thought of that?
Handwritten lyrics, spitting bullshit, “Blow me like bazooka Joe!” It's okay! It was my starting raps.
Momma set a curfew on the computer, but this Sony Vaio comes on quite low, seems she never caught on to that.
Stressing, 13 feeling depression, curious so I ask questions, but momma's hitting me for talking back.
All the kids at school ask why I ain't talking black? What type of talk is that?
Just cause my skin is dark, I can't be ostentatious and find joy in knowing that every word I talk is fact?
Depression goes suicidal, I live in the hood, I’m sure someone has a rifle.
Need to express my inner trifle, calling mommy, she sleep, she ain't calling back...
Phone ringing, her friend she calling back... Damn. What type of emotion should I have caught from that?
Ugh. It's a different scene now, somewhere between 10 or 13 now. Summer time, and momma says I need to be out.
But I just wanna read now, tell her to leave me now. Didn't even matter cause she's sleep now.
Daddy busy working, brother with my granny, so it's basically just me now...
Knock at the door. I answer, it's Delano. He's like, “Yo, I wanna hang bro.”
Ain't nothing changed though. I still just wanna read, but this rooms depressing me.
So I'm outside, eyes glanced in a daydream, walking like zombies!
Been 3 days since I've been to sleep... There's just way too much to think.
There's bar-b-que sauce laid on the street... D bets that I won't eat...
I'm wiping my mouth off with my sleeve, as Labria comes to greet.
She introduced me to her cousin, her names DeDe…
Now, I know what you may think. That I'm bout to be ‘Nerd King’!
Talk about how we freaked, say she made my Booster Gold go skeet.
But back then that wasn't me, Kev Mc, I had just begun to be.
It was way before I became Z, still pretty much I.M.P.
So it was surprising... when we started flirting... And it turned out it was working...
She said my intelligence, and witty self-deprication, lead to a strange infatuation,
And this was way before Khloe, so the first time I heard such a statement.
Now we're at the park, and saliva we're exchanging. Bria tells her how I have a girlfriend.
I'm quickly lying, don't wanna be chevy blue like whirlwind.
Make up a when, who, why, and where. Know it sounded stupid, but I didn't care,
Dede still believed it, and that was all I needed. My tongue touching her tonsils.
Physically it's amazing, but mentally I feel awful.
A voice inside screams, “It's just pity, push her off you!”
There's a demon in me, who said, “IMpro I will always haunt you!”
Lost in my insecurities, she left for home, and I never found out where she went off to...
Letter to the cul-de-sac... End of Arc 2....
all rights reserved